Holistic Coexistence: Understanding fear and embracing love

Jasmin Faulk-Dickerson

I’ve been thinking a lot in recent months about the state of our world. Like many others, we are all trying to understand if this is an unusual and unprecedented time in history, or if this is just another swing of the old pendulum that scientifically goes right and left, back and forth unstoppable, without persuasion. 

Avoiding in depth research and recalling from the basic knowledge we all have of historic events and tragedies, it is safe to say that we are not experiencing something out of the ordinary; we have seen disease, social unrest, injustice, hate, environmental threat, violence and political corruption all too many times. What seems unusual about these particular current events is that all of those phenomenons are transpiring at the same time.
While living through these events seems like a painful and stressful experience, it is important to hold on to the notion that these challenging times bring forth needed change and human progress. No time in history has produced evolutionary gain without disturbing shake-ups. We can’t sit back and complacently assume that it is automatically going to get better. The opportunity for us to rise up and affirm the need to rethink how society has functioned thus far is our responsibility as living beings. We cannot hold our long departed heroes and leaders responsible for what needs to happen now, rather, we are obliged to resurrect their spirit through new and compatible ways. 

In moments of worry and panic it is easy to hide. Many feel scared and hopeless, while others feel pushed to do something. Can we agree that in both situations there is valid reasoning and one cannot exist without the other?
Our resilience depends on our drive to survive. Some living beings have a stronger or louder need to survive, while others experience a sense of desperation and surrender. There are many ways in which we can actively participate in change, not all of us are equipped with a warrior’s spirit, in fact, there are some among us who contribute to the change through subtle action and measured grace, even when it seems hopeless and helpless. There is pressure to be and say certain things for fear of being categorized as the enemy. There is also the fear of missing out and not being a drop in the large wave that is forming on the shores of change. But isn’t it also true that the elements that surround a certain space include the seen and unseen circumstances that undoubtedly affect the outcome? A wave on the shore does not exist without the sand, the air, the current, and the countless creatures that contribute to its size and effectiveness. 

Permission to feel worthy and part of a collective is foundational if we are to make lasting change as a society and as a species. We may not all agree on the same things, but the ultimate goal is the same for all of us: survival. 

We cannot survive if we feel that some of us are better than others, if we believe that some deserve more than others, and if we blindly trust leaders, religions, ideologies and teachings. 

So where do we go from here? There is one simple exercise that will help fine-tune the muscle of empathy and compassion; Listening. 

One of the hardest things one can do is to listen to someone they vehemently disagree with. However, there is great power in listening, because while it may not offer an understanding of why someone thinks or feels a certain way, it will offer a clear picture of what someone’s biggest fears are. All of our behavior stems from two places: fear and love. When we are able to listen to the other side we can asses if they are coming form a place of fear or love. Being privy to that kind of information will arm us with the appropriate tool for effective outcomes.  

In a body, each limb and each organ is different with an important function for a holistic operation on which the movement and process of existence depends on. Similarly, we may all look different, with different beliefs and needs, but we all play an important part of the eco-system of the collective. And just like in a body where infections and diseases need to be treated and healed, such is the case in a society, where hateful ideologies and judgmental views need to be eradicated. Our sanity, our safety, our happiness, our balance, and our survival depend on our ability to holistically coexist in a space where fear is understood and love is embraced.